A NOVEL: DIARY OF AN ENGLISHSAURUS PART 3

Sat, 18 Feb 2023

Hey there, it's been a while. Over the past few months, I've crossed paths with many people, both in person and online. But, as it goes, they all seem to fade away – no hard feelings, though. In these recent months, a lot has unfolded. New friendships were formed, old ones drifted away, and I've come to some realizations.

Sometimes it's not really the people that holds us down to leave but the memories, and idea that all of those were “sayang”. Looking back, I already made a lot of mistakes for myself and for others. The word “sorry” already become insincere, and  “just for a show,” just like what Taylor Swift said on her song Bad Blood. 

Although, I know for a fact that some, actually, most of it, were probably my fault, It was my uncontrollable irrational thoughts and decisions that lead me into those states. As a result, I become a stranger now to others. 

I always say a lot that it is okay for me to be left alone, that my time is too precious, and shouldn't be wasted over some non-trivial matters. But those non-trivial matters what keeps me wide awake every night. If only being an overthinker is a job, I'm already a billionaire.

Keeping aside all my drama's in life, just a mini life update about me, being an Englishsaurus, the first semester is done! Almost good, not until I was given two 2.25, not exactly hitting the Latin honor mark. It's a bit disappointing since they say once you get a 2.25, the dream of a Latin honor is out the window. Initially, I was upset because I really gave it my all – extra effort, nearly emptied my allowance for that unit, had many sleepless nights. But life handed me a 2.25.

Well, that's how things go. At least I know I put in my best effort. 

Although, from the beginning, I've wished to at least have a latin honor, to graduate with flying colors, and make the people around me proud. I guess, that's all beyond my reach now.  It's disappointing, yes, but what can I do? I'm just a struggling student. I'm not as gifted as others, I'm not as smart and talented as them, I'm just an ordinary student who's trying her best, but I hope some professors are too. 

Kidding aside, tomorrow marks the end of my lazy days. Enrollment is waving, and second semester is waiting.  Hoping for betters days and semester. Because as we waived our path to succes, a lot of things may change, unexpected things may occur, and uncertainties may hindrance us. People come and go, and that's okay. The same goes for achievements; we might not always hit the high points. What matters is the effort we put in. Getting a 2.25 may not be the goal, but it doesn't take away from the hard work.

As I gear up for the new semester, I carry the lesson that sometimes, the journey matters more than the destination. Life is a series of beginnings and ends, and each step is an opportunity to learn and grow. I hope for our betterment and success in the future carrying the things we have learned along the way.