A NOVEL: DIARY OF AN ENGLISHSAURUS PART 2

 

    Just some day on my way of becoming an Englishsaurus

August 25, 2022, Thursday.

I'm at a fast-food place, just watching new college grads strolling by the glass wall, looking all nice in their filipiñanas. They seem really happy and proud. I keep an eye on them until they go through the glass door of the fast-food place, chatting and smiling with their folks.

Suddenly, I get this idea – I want to jot down this moment. So, here I am, sitting in this fast-food spot, encoding this on my  phone, with my friend Bryan across from me, busy counting the money he used for our grub. As we end up laughing because, well, we're broke now. We've got some cash, but it's just enough for our bus fare.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm doing this. Is it to share this moment or to remember it later? I'm not sure. Sitting here, I'm thinking, maybe in 4 or 5 years, I can show you this post and say, "Hey, I wrote this four years ago, and now I'm here, rocking my own filipiña, making my family happy and proud." Yeah, that's probably why.

Seeing those college grads a while ago got me wondering – will I make it like them? Can I graduate? Will I survive? I'm scared, scared of what's coming. There are just so many 'what ifs' swirling in my head. Such as, "What if I won't make it?". 

What if on our way, we stumble upon something unexpected. Something bad, something dangerous for our future's success? What if in the middle we just realized this is not what we really want, this is not our place. What if it will be already too late for us when we realized we actually want to pursue something else?

But who really cares? I'd rather jot all of this now. If I made it, if we made it, then this freshman you is so proud of you. I just hoped you enjoyed your college days. Why? Because I know how competitive you can be. I know, especially, how hard for you to express yourself clearly.

You are a people pleaser, you are afraid of what will other say to you, you are afraid to get on other people's bad side. But let's take a moment, breath. You are not alone on this. I know you can do everything. I know who you are. Just stay at this moment and take your pen.

Sometimes, capturing a simple moment can turn into something meaningful later on. Even when you're unsure about the future, taking a snapshot of the present can be a source of joy and pride down the road. So, embrace the now, share your stories, and who knows, they might become the inspiring tales you never saw coming.

I know you can make it, I know you can.